Things I Should Say
I was inspired by this week’s write here prompt, to write a letter you will never send.
First, let me be clear. I don’t despise my brother. We actually had a pretty good relationship growing up. Even though we’re five years apart, we got along better than most siblings. Until we became adults.
Now that we’re both in our thirties, I’ve grown up. My brother hasn’t. This is a letter of all the things I know he needs to hear, but can’t bring myself to say.
Dear Refuses to Take Responsibility,
Before you get defensive, just listen to what I have to say. I’m your sister and I care about you, but this cannot continue much longer. You’re 32 years old, don’t you think it’s about time you grow up?
I understand, things were tough for awhile. The house fell through and everything was left to you to deal with. The relationship was rocky and I’m sure it was hard. I can’t imagine living with someone like that. But M, that was years ago and you’ve done nothing to change from all that.
You’re even still seeing her. The woman that left you to deal with the home foreclosure and took all your stuff. I know we can’t choose who we love, but to me that isn’t love. if she really loved you, she would have helped through it all and not ran.
My marriage isn’t perfect and neither am I, but I think 14 years is worth something. Real love isn’t someone who would run when things got tough. And M, she ran and took all your shit with her. Why would you even want to be around someone like that?
Love looks like what our parents have, a trusting relationship. They love unconditionally and have never bailed on each other.
They took you in without hesitation, and I admire them for that. But trust me when I tell you, you have long overstayed your welcome. They’ve raised their kids, isn’t it time you stop acting like one again?
I’ve heard complaints from both of them about how messy and inconsiderate you are. In their home, no less. You’ve always been selfish and inconsiderate, but this is intolerable. They have done so much for you.
Consistently helped you with bills when you couldn’t manage. Helped you with groceries and car repairs. Have you ever tried to repay any of their money or even offered?
Now I know what you’re thinking, this is none of my business. Maybe you’re right. But someone has to force you to grow up. You have a job and a car, I see no reason why you can’t get back on your feet and move out.
You could have been anything M. You have intelligence that I would kill for. You have natural leadership skills and such an outgoing personality. You make people take notice of you. But you show no ambition. You moved back in with them years ago and seem content to just coast by in life with no responsibilities.
I don’t know if you really don’t see the stress it’s putting on them, or if you simply don’t care. Either way, it’s time for you to go. They’ve held your hand your whole life. It’s time for you to be a man and stand on your own two feet. Give them the freedom of their own home back and move out.
Love, K