Lessons in Life
A letter to my younger self as I approach the next decade
You will spend your childhood wishing to be a teenager. Once you get there you’ll wish you were a child again. You will spend your teen years wishing to be an adult because then everything will make sense. You will hit 25, 30 and then 35 but never quite reach that magical age where thing makes sense. Finally, as you approach 40, you’ll realize life is less about logic and more about finding peace.
Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up, things get complicated.
High school is an adjustment period. It’s okay to feel like an outsider at first, you will settle into a routine. You will make friends who will change your life. You’ll love, you’ll laugh and you’ll spend hours on the roof wishing you could touch the stars. Your friends will be your life.
Some of them will follow you into adulthood, some won’t. Goodbye becomes a word you get familiar with because distance strains even the best friendships. But the group will be reunited by grief. A friend who was bullied and took his own life. You’ll lean on each other and realize you’re a chosen family, if even for a little while.
Be nicer to your mom, she’s doing her best. You will eventually put aside your differences and get along. You’re going to need her so much more than you even know. Don’t look back and regret things you said to her in anger.
No one has the perfect body, stop wishing you had someone else’s. All the hours spent staring in the mirror in disgust are wasted time. You’ll gain weight, you’ll lose weight, only to repeat the cycle numerous times. The number on the scale means nothing and the size of your pants won’t bring you happiness. Your body will do amazing things.
You will bring 2 of the most incredible kids into this world, and they will make you so proud to be their mama. But don’t rush, it happens when it’s meant to. Your body decides when you’re ready, not your mind.
It doesn’t matter that you never casually dated or slept around, it really doesn’t. And the doubts you have are yours to deal with. Other people won’t make you feel better, only worse. Self esteem comes from within.
You will give too much of your time and love to the wrong person. Not everyone wants the best for you. Miserable people will always want company. They lie, they cheat and they manipulate. It will take you a long time to recover, but you do. And you learn to never again let people be careless with your feelings.
You will question who you are. What you are. People will try and make you choose a label, don’t listen. Sometimes people criticize what they don’t understand. It doesn’t matter who you love, you’re just you and that’s enough. When you’re ready, you’ll know it.
People will think your independence is strange, but hold onto it. It will take you some amazing places. The risks are worth the rewards. Beautiful sunsets and the clearest water. Skies that stretch on forever make the best nights of your life.
There’s no shame in asking for help. Admitting you need it, is the bravest thing you will ever do. The people who love you, will stand by your side. Those who didn’t will fade into the background. You’ll miss them but wish them well. Sometimes letting go is part of the journey.
Don’t take life so seriously, sometimes you just need to smile. The best things you will ever find cost nothing. There will be a few hard years that seem to last forever, but the pain is only temporary. And you will take comfort in the fact that you survived. You will do amazing things with your life.
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ~ Mae West
Love Always,
K